Emily,
I am a married man, who just wants to have a sexual affair. I have tried joining the online dating services, being totally open and honest with what I am looking for, just have had no luck at all. I am not being picky with looks, weight, race, anything, just want to have sex a couple times a week, trying whatever they are open for. Any suggestions?
Jeremy
Well Jeremy you didn't give a lot of info. But I wouldn't think it would be that hard. Perhaps you're being too direct? Or are you saying you aren't getting any responses at all? Again there isn't a lot for me to go on here, so the best I can do is say that this link takes you to Adult Friend Finder. Again, I don't know your age but I'm guessing you might be older? If not please don't be offended, I'm just a girl trying to help.
Hi Emily,
I wrote you a while ago. I took your advice about cuckholding him. I go out once a weekend with a black lover I had taken on since then. He loves when I come home and tell him about what we do. I have not told him sometimes it is more then one :). His sex life has been reduced to him licking me and him masterbating and he enjoys it! That has me suprised. He tells me he loves me more then he ever did over and over. I stayed on the pill but he keeps begging me to come off the pill. I am not sure yet whether to suprise him with that for valentines day.
Jeanne
Ah... Emily saves another marriage.. :) I'm glad you took my advice. It seems you are more than happy, and he is also. So by any standards you have a happy, successful marriage. As Mojo likes to say, Fairytales don't just happen, you have to make them happen. Good Luck and keep us informed.
UPDATE:February 15, 2006
Emily,
Just dropping a note to let you know I went off the pill a few days after my last email to you. I let Mark know yesterday for Valentines day that I have not been taking them. Ryan and his friend took me out to dinner and then back to his place for one of the longest most erotic nights of my life. I'm a little hung over this morning and have butterflies knowing those little black guys are swimming around inside me. I am still nervous over this but Mark can't be more excited. I still don't understand his excitement of another man father our child. Especially a black one.
Jeanne
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Dear Emily,
My wife and I met a black body builder thru mutual friends that brought him over to a couple parties. He came over twice on his own to "watch football with me" he claimed. The 1st time he came over was for Monday nite football. Around half time I had to leave to pick up kid from practice. He said he was leaving too and was on his way out the door shortly after me. I had a "feeling" about this, drove around the block and parked 2 houses down. I snuck up to my house and peeking thru bushes saw him standing with his back facing me in the opened front door. I could make out my wife on her knees obviously sucking his cock. Shortly he then closed the door. I went around to the side of the house where I could see in perfectly but they couldn't see me because it was dark. His cock was huge and I was very amazed. I was also so excited watching my beautiful petite wife eagerly suck his huge cock. he came in her mouth and on her face. After a little kissing, he zipped up and left. she went to a mirror, wiped her mouth and re did her lip stick. I was so excited but left to get the kid. After I got home we both acted like nothing happened. The next time he came over for sunday nite football, we all stayed up real late drinking and prtying. I get really tired and went to bed having to work the next day.They were still upstairs talking when I fell asleep. I woke up a while later and heard nothing but silence. Then I started hearing low "murmers". I crept upstairs on my hands and knees, peered over the top of the stairs. They were in the couch that had its back facing me. Although I couldn't see them I could hear her sucking him. fter a while it got faster and he never made a sound but she got done and was getting up. I made a B line for bed. She came in and checked on me, I pretended like I was asleep and she left. A short while later she got into bed with me.I was still so excited i can't tell you. I roled over to her, pasionately kissed her, stuck my cock in her and she was sopping wet. We fucked hard that night but we never discussed what happened. I so want her to keep sucking this stud and would like her to fuck him. Of course I'd love to watch. What is the best way for me to make sure I acheive this. Do I keep things the way they are, not telling her and sneak up on them "peeking"? Do I Talk to her, tell her that i saw them and am very turned on by it and want to watch? Do I talk to him? I just don't want tp blow it where she stops or never gives an opurtunity for me to watch. Also, why do you think she never likes to suck me any more but is eager to suck him off with out even getting sexually satisfied her self?
Thank you, Lee
First off, don't believe for one moment that she hasn't already fucked him. I'm guessing the reason that she is blowing him is because they don't want to get "caught" when you are there. Second, don't believe for one moment that she is going to stop seeing him. So the chances of your "blowing it" aren't likely.
The best way for you to approach this is to talk to him. Have him over again, and tell him that you pretty much have what's going on figured out, and you saw her blowing him. So there is no more reason to keep things hidden. At this point is where you should present to him your ideas of involvement. If you want to participate, if you want to watch him dominate her, whatever. Again, I seriously doubt your black bodybuilder friend is going to want to blow a good deal and protest too much. After you two work out the details, tell him you expect to see her on her knees, getting fucked, whatever tonight. Make it happen then before "they" can discuss things.
As far as not giving you blow jobs, I don't know. After things are out in the open ask her. Good luck and let us know what happens!
Hi Emily,
I'd like some advice about a situation with my wife.
We've been married for 15 years and over the last couple I've really wanted
to watch her have sex with other men. We've "beat around the bush" about it and suffice
to say that she knows exactly what I want, but I'm baffled by her. When I bring
it up she tells me "No way, I'll never do it", but her actions say
otherwise. For example, she told me that a few years ago she went out with
another guy. She said nothing happened other than them dancing. She said she
was curious to see what it was like to go out with someone else for a change.
I told her that this really turned me on, but she really had no reaction to
that. Also, whenever we hit the bars she puts on a push-up bra and wears low
cut tops, but when I make a comment about how guys are checking her out she
just blows it off. We've role played a lot with "Mike the pool boy", "Tom
the massage guy", and once I even went to bed and said, "My name's
Mike and your husband said I could come in here and fuck you". The next
day she told me it was the best sex we've had in years. I tried to encourage
her to flirt with guys in the bar but she wouldn't, so I thought maybe it was
because I was there and she felt uncomfortable. She's got a friend who's very
cool about sex, so I talked to her about our situation. She said she'd take
Gina out and try to get her hooked up or at least encourage her to flirt. They
went, but Gina didn't do anything, and her friend said there were several guys
trying. I thought maybe it was because we were going to bars where people knew
her, so I planned a trip out of town for the weekend. We went to the beach
and went out at night. This is when things started to heat up!
We found a nice little bar and had a few drinks. After about an hour a guy
came in and sat down on the other side of her at the bar. He struck up a conversation
with us and she seemed very receptive to him. Pretty soon I worked my way out
of the conversation and they went on as if I wasn't there. This went on for
about an hour and they seemed to be getting along very well. Gina went to the
bathroom and the guy asked if she was my wife. When I said she was he apologized
for trying to pick her up. I told him it was cool and explained the way I felt.
He was immediately down with it, and when she came back he started pouring
it on, really flirting hard with her now. She was completely receptive, and
when he asked her to dance to a slow song she didn't even ask me if it was
okay. She just got up and danced with him. Needless to say, I had an incredible
woody and was thanking my lucky stars. When they got back we all sat at a table,
and I soon excused myself to the bathroom. When I returned he was rubbing her
leg and she seemed to be enjoying it. She even asked him to dance and this
time he had his hands on her ass.
As you've probably figured out by now nothing happened,
and this is where I'm confused. Everything seemed to be going really well
to that point. When Gina left us alone for a couple of minutes he asked if
she liked C&W music.
I said she does, but we never go to a C&W bar because I don't like it.
He suggested we go to one and then see if he could get her in bed afterwards.
When she came back he asked if she'd like to go, but she said no. A short time
after that she pretty much seemed to lose interest in him and turned her attention
more to me. Shortly after that she said she wanted to go. I was very confused
about this, but she said she was sure. She said goodnight to the guy and we
left. When we were in the car driving she asked me if I'd enjoyed watching
her with that guy and I said I really did. She said, "Good, I'm glad you
liked it", and then never brought it up again. I tried to talk to her
about it during foreplay that night, but she'd just change the subject.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to figure out is, why is she saying no when
all her actions say yes? We've role played, watched movies about this (which
she really gets off on), and then had the incident at the bar. She always has
fun when we do this, but I just can't get her to take that next step. I'd even
be happy if she'd just kiss another guy! Please give me any insight you can.
Signed,
Dazed & Confused
P.S. I know this is too long for your column, so I don't expect you to post
it there. Could you just please write me back and tell me what you think?
Hey, haven't you ever heard size matters? :) Now on to your
situation. Your wife is conflicted. And I'd say very. What you're going to
have to do is try to isolate the source of her conflict. I'm going to throw
a few things out there. Perhaps she hasn't been completely honest with you.
Perhaps she has cheated on someone before and it cost her a relationship and
she doesn't want to go down the road again. Or perhaps she has had a affair
while you were married and it caused her a lot of stress. Or perhaps she is
afraid of you freaking out. Those are just some things to help you reframe
your point of reference.
Now, what you need to do is approach her (not in bed) and discuss
the other night. Ask her point blank (in a nice loving way) why she had the
change of mood. Tell her that she is confusing you with her actions. Reassure
her. Tell her this is very important to you, but if she absolutely isn't going
to do it, she needs to be open and honest with you. What she is doing now is
essentially cock teasing you and you deserve more respect in her actions. That
you are willing to drop the subject forever, but you don't want to and you
want the two of you to experiment with these things.
Be ready for anything, she might "come clean". No matter what
she does or says accept her and tell her it's alright. Maybe a threesome with
another woman first is another idea. Good Luck and let us know what happens!
my girlfriend and i have been dating
for a year and a half. she has been with a black guy before whose
was not very good in bed was always high. when i do start to drink
she tends to talk dirty to me about having sex with other black
guys and also going to gloryholes. she says she would never have
sex with anyone eles while we are together but i know she is turned
on to talk about it please let me know what to do
thank you, hopeful
I'd simply do the following. I'd put
my foot down if I was you. Tell her, reassure her that you like the
things SHE is talking about. That you WANT to explore those things
WITH HER. But, tell her that this excites you too much to just
listen to, and if she isn't going to do it, then just not talk
about it anymore. See what happens. If she just shuts up about it,
(and I'm guessing she will but not for long) you start making
interracial sex jokes. If she complains tell her that you said SHE
couldn't talk about it, and that you have already told her that it
turns you on. If she says that isn't fair tell her life isn't fair.
Her telling you things that you deeply desire to do WITH HER and
her not doing it isn't fair. Since she is claiming that she's only
doing it for you it shouldn't bother her if you talk about it. Be
firm but supportive and patient, and I'm betting it will all work
out. Good luck!
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FOLLOW UP:
hi this is hopeful i think my questions was wrote wrong i wnat to
know how i can get her too try black guys again while i watch and
join in
thank you hopeful
And you're not listening to me. She
is talking the talk, but not walking the walk. Tell her no more
talk, she has to put up (or out as it is) or shut up. I'm guessing
she likes her little nasty talk sessions with you, but you are
going to have to move it to a new level. Of course be supportive of
her, make sure she understands this is something you WANT and will
love her all the more for it.
Hi Emily,
My wife asked me to write for your advice. She's
very interested in becoming a "hotwife". She's been talking about
it for about 3 years now and I've always said no way, I can stand
the thought of her being with other men. lately, I admit her talk
has been turning me on a little. She's even been talking about
cuckolding me and teasing me. I am somewhat submissive, so that
part does sound exciting. I'm wondering what advice yo have for me
to get over my trepidations.
Thanks,
Marty
Ok, well first off, I'm sure part of your fear is
about her leaving you. Let me tell you this, if she has been
talking about it for 3 years and hasn't left you, it probably isn't
going to happen. There are some very rich and successful men
looking for Slut Wife's/cuckold relationships. So if that was all
she wanted, she could have found it elsewhere.
What I advise is this. Make a list of the things
you *can* stand. Then have her make one of what she is looking for.
Then compare. Have a heart to heart talk with her and make sure she
understands that you are doing this FOR HER. And that if you can't
handle it, no means no. End of story. If she agrees then I say go
for it when you're comfortable. Start off slow, I'm sure she'll
understand. Tell her to work with you and if you're uncomfortable
in a certain situation and want to stop, she has to agree to.
Now second you mention cuckolding. This is a
fetish activity. So you two need to talk about if this is going to
be a lifestyle change or a play activity. Are you going to be her
cuck 24/7 or just at certain times? Is her teasing going to be
public, or private? Again I recommend making a list of what you can
handle, and having her do the same.
One other thing. We NEVER use the expression
Hotwife on this site. There is another site who seems to have
something against us, (even though most of it's "regulars" started
off here) and carries a holier than thou attitude. They are a
Hotwife site and feel the term Slut Wife is low class. Isn't it
funny how people can hold themselves up as being better than
others, yet be so petty at the same time? So call me a Slut
anytime. I love it. Good luck and let me know what happens!
FOLLOW
UP:
Hi again Emily,
Thanks so much for your advice. You asked me to
write back and let you know how things are going.
My wife and I discussed your reply and she
confirmed for me that she has no intentions on leaving me. That did
make me feel better.
We did talk about each making lists, her of the
things she wanted, and me of the things I would be OK with. She
made her list, here it is:
Her List of Wants:
Sex with an Extremely Hung Man
Sex with a Black Man
Sex with Multiple Men at Once
Sex in Front of Marty and Solo Dates with My Lovers (1-2 times per
week)
Cuckolding Marty 24/7
Teasing Marty Publicly and Privately
Holding Out Sex from Marty, except...
Forcing Marty to Service Me and My Lovers Orally
Fucking Marty with a Strap-On
Watching Marty Get Fucked by My Lovers
Taking Photos of Marty and Sharing Them with My Friends
As I read her list, I started to realize just how
far she wants to take this. Some of the things on her list scared
me but they all excited me also. The thought of giving up those
things to her is intoxicating.
So, I'm writing for your advice again. Should I
tell her it's all OK with me? Or should I only tell her I can stand
certain things and work up slowly.
Help!
Marty
Whew... she has been putting some thought into
this hasn't she? I'm assuming she is writing this about you in the
third person. What that leads me to believe is she has already in
her mind assumed a Dominate role in your relationship. And that she
fully intends for you to assume a TOTALLY submissive role.
You sure you don't want her to leave? Just
kidding... anyway Marty, unless she has men lined up already it's
going ot take some time to find the right person that SHE is
looking for. So I think you can proceed as you see fit. Remember
though, even though this is her fantasy, and it excites you, I'd
tell you the same thing I'd tell anyone. If the going gets too much
for you to handle, stop it. Remind her that NO means NO. Good luck
and let me know what happens.
hi kinda new to this my wife is fine
hot beautiful. i'm tall and goodlooking myself but there is a
problem i have a small penis. 4 to 5 inches. she says its not a big
deal but i cannot make her orgasm. been together 7 years. when she
is sober she says all fine but get her drunk and she says she
wishes i had at least a couple more inches. she says she always
orgasmed with every guy but me even some with similar size cocks.
before we met though she was screwing this black cook at her work
and he was hung she has pic 9.5 inches well then i got her pregnant
and we been together ever since. is it possible her fucking that
huge fat dick made it so she can't orgasm with little dicks,
thanks small white cock
Let me ask you this? Can a woman orgasm with
another woman? How big is the other woman's cock? The fact that she
mentions that she came with other cocks your size should tell you
that she can. There is probably another issue at play here, and
perhaps some professional help might be needed. You seem very
motivated to seeing her needs are fulfilled, so I'm guessing the
issue is something within her. Good Luck!
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Dear slut Emily,
I was wondering if you knew of sister like yours
where most of the slutwives were black? It is just a question of
curiosity as I have still managed to link up with quite a few white
wives even though I am white.
Also do you have any of your swinging stories
posted anywhere as I am sure you have had many an interesting
adventure in life.
Take care
Peter
I'm not aware of any black slut wife
sites. And one of the agreements Mojo and I made when I started
this was I could keep my personal life personal. I've reveled some,
but that for me is about all at this point I'm going to revel.
Perhaps in the future there will be more, who knows. Thanks for the
e-mail Peter.
More Emily...
DISCLAIMER:
Slut Emily's advice is provided for entertainment purposes
only. Never should you take the advice of anyone other than
a trained
professional in dealing with complex psychological issues.
Slut Emily's opinion is just that, her opinion
That's
it, later gators.
